EMO

This is the first time i using english for the blog...because mandarine cnt help me to express it... Since 3 years ago , facing the Crisis of my life,i had force my life to do things by every second,i even motivate myself when i was sleeping...

38days later, i will be 22 in this years,that is no time for me to doing stupid thins and play fool anymore.Izit that i had force myself until cnt breath now ? I dont even think that i still having time to emo. In my planning before 25 years old,thats not such word like "Gal" will appear. But i think its appear now.

I had totally forget my only ex girlfriend, but i still cnt forget the pain she bring to me. I didnt not hate her because everyone have their right to make decision. I even dont want to know what is the real reason that she leave me,maybe because of she dont want to hurt me or she just dont want to let me knw.

I had forget the so call "Love Feeling" at all. Its a good thing for me,because without this kind of things,i had acheive others like what i have now.No matter how many shit i had said just now,i still cnt accept that i will be negative thinking on this moment. YES! I m emo now,oh ya! with the word "Freaking". eh..hrm...I M FREAKING EMO NOW...

The so call Love Feeling is getting stronger,when i saw the photo she with the other guy,I feel bad...Izit because I jealous? i really dont know...am I really like a kid when I m in Love? erm...I dont think i can use the LOVE word by now,because we are still friend. I like you or I like a Gal will be more suitable for now.

I having 3 nickname,Jeff,Jephin and Jevil.This 3 different name I will use it in 3 different way,This 3 name are full of meaning and is not just a nickname.Its mean a positive negative and neutral characteristic.Maybe I m a free thinker,so I have to analyse myself well.Understand myself first before understand about others. I had commited to myself that I will not easily to going understand anyone else.In the same thing I wil set firewall also to not let people to more understand about me. "You will hate me when you know more about me,you will like me when you know deep about me".

I m searching the answer about why i like this Gal,sorry...I still cant get the answer...maybe thats no answer and i should know about that. That is alot of Theory about Love i understand but I doesnt mean anything for me. The second characteristic of my body is keep on to appear in my real world,I call him "Stupid". A Stupid that dint wear spec and simple minded...yes...yes...I m blind now...but atleast this characteristic is naive...

Izit because of consider too much of my future?Izit I had plan too much of it? Izit I should not try when i feel doubt? This 3 question will surrounding my brain later when i roll on my bed and kacau my sleepy youngest brother (mangsa).

I always asking people,what is your NEXT. Now is my turn to ask myself and not even having enough time to prepare the question...but thats some simple question appear in my mind suddenly.

Q1. You like her izit because she is beautiful?
A1.Yes,but her beautiful smile will not be replace by others in the future.Warranty atleast 70years.

Q2. Are you willing to stay with her no matter what happened?
A2. Should I say even I die,my spirit will still protect her? come on!!! I m a free thinker,I dont believe in spirit! but I will make sure everythings comes on me first. I will even wake up even I in KOMA by no doubt...because I know she is nothing,but without her,my life will be meaningless...

Q3. What if she reject me ?
A3. This really a good question, I been chase a girl by...never mind...the answer is ...(those who read this blog,ask me directly.)

The conclusion that I will make by here which is I m a fool,I set my rules and I break my rules. It means that I clear about what I will do about next and I will think carefully before every action.

*PS: WTF! why I can write so long ar? the language is...nvm...who cares...

SPECIALLY THANK FOR MY BRO - MYKE